Living with Fibromyalgia

I have Fibromyalgia.

Sometimes that particular phrase is really hard to say for me. In a lot of ways it stigmatizes me. In other ways it opens the flood gates to commentary. These have ranged from people who believe that I am desperate for attention to those who believe they have the solution for my ‘problem’, even if the Doctor doesn't. What that phrase also does is open the doorway for people who may be in the same situation as myself, and wondering if they are alone.I've tried lots of cures, diet changes, miracles, and it took me a while to realize that this syndrome is a part of me, but it's not me. So I decided to live my life.

Fibro has gotten a lot of press in the last couple years, which I am grateful for since it means that I don’t have to go through a “is it catching” moment, but since what most people know about it appears in a Cymbalta commercial I’ll give you a quick definition from the National Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Association. Since Symptoms vary from person to person this is just a generalization.

Fibromyalgia (pronounced fy-bro-my-AL-ja) is a common and complex chronic pain disorder that affects people physically, mentally and socially. Fibromyalgia is a central nervous system illness[…] Fibromyalgia, which has also been referred to as fibromyalgia syndrome, fibromyositis and fibrositis, is characterized by chronic widespread pain, multiple tender points, abnormal pain processing, sleep disturbances, fatigue and often psychological distress. For those with severe symptoms, fibromyalgia can be extremely debilitating and interfere with basic daily activities. Chronic widespread body pain is the primary symptom of fibromyalgia. Most people with fibromyalgia also experience moderate to extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, sensitivity to touch, light, and sound, and cognitive difficulties. Many individuals also experience a number of other symptoms and overlapping conditions[…]

Please believe me…that is the short definition. So what is fibro like for me? Well, I experience on a daily basis mild to severe chronic pain, fatigue, fibro fog (memory issues), headaches, TMJ and a variety of other little gifts the fibro fairy left me. I used to be really bad. My first flare sent me to bed for several weeks and for a while I couldn’t do more than go to work. Now I’m managing my pain without medication, which means I have my bad days but also means that I can live a pretty normal life.  I would love to run every day like I used to or take a spin class, but the pain afterwards has always been too extreme. I take walks and I like to bike ride every once in a while which is totally fun. Exercise is kind of that hurdle I’d like to jump, but gently…maybe I’ll just step over it. Lol. I had a hard time because I gained weight because it was hard to move, let alone take the steps towards trying to exercise. Recently I realized that it doesn’t matter. I’m happy and I’m working at my own pace. Eventually I hope to get better at this whole trying to be healthy thing but for right now I’m okay with who I am.

I, personally, consider myself lucky. (Strange but true.) I have the ability to get out of bed every day, work a full time job, I have an amazingly understanding husband and family, and an amazing set of friends. I don’t get to do everything I want, but I get to do sooo much. My fibro is not as severe as it has been and while I have had drastic life style changes, I think I can live with them.

So, I have fibro. I also garden, work full time, go to school part time, I’m married and I have dreams of owning our own farm someday and being a stay-at-home mom. I know how much work it will be and far from being scared and hesitant I’m really excited! Mine is not a story of how I overcame an illness or how I’m a success. This is about me living my life. I wanted to share with you a little bit of my story because we all have our own hurdles, and no matter what they are we have the ability to try and get over them. Yes we may get stuck, we may falter and, hell, we may fail but that’s okay too. We’re trying. Hopefully, I’ll remember that.